When is it right to discuss dad's addiction issues with your child?
My daughter’s father is an alcoholic and a drug addict. I know that most people reading this would think: How in the hell did you get pregnant by such a looser? I am a professional woman with a clean record. I am not an alcoholic or an addict. I fell in love with this man. I do not have any sob stories or excuses for choosing him. I do not believe in making excuses for the past. I believe that my Higher Power bought him into my life for a good reason. That reason is our beautiful daughter.
I know there are millions of women dealing with issues like mines. Very few are willing to admit that their husbands or baby's fathers are alcoholics or addicts. It took me a LONG time to admit it. It is embarrassing. Society is very harsh on women who date or marry addicts, especially if you have children.
My daughter is only 4 months old today. I wonder when is a good time to discuss her father's addiction issues with her. I know some people prefer to let kids figure this out on their own. My only fear is that she finds out on her own and gets hurt after realizing that her daddy is not her super heroe or whatever image she has created in her mind.
Obviously I am not with her father. He has contact with her. I allow him to visit us when he is sober. He is not allowed in my house when he is drunk or high. I have very strict rules about that. I had to separate from him because I did not want to raise a child in an unhealthy environment. Addicts are very volatile and unpredictable. I needed to protect my child. SHE COMES FIRST!
So, ladies, what do you think?