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Do you let other people dicipline or chastise your kids?

  • 11 Replies
As you all know my Husbands best friend has been living with us for a while. It, for the most part has been fine.

He has been in my kids lives for their whole lives, but of course this is the most time he has spent around them.

When he first moved in, he would keep pretty quiet when it came to my boys, but over time he has interjected more and more. At first, it was just kind of a back up for me or my DH. If I told my boys something and they didn't listen or hear me, he would say, "did you hear your Mom?" Or asking them to be quiet or to settle down.. Which I didn't mind.

But lately, he has said more. Even raising his voice to them. I think he is stricter with them then we are. Like one day, he they were playing in our living room. They were getting loud, but they are kids. I don't mind it as long as its not crazy out of control, and there is no fighting. They were laughing and being silly. Well, he started telling them they needed to be quiet or go to there rooms, then quickly said just go to your rooms! When I walked out, I was cooking in the kitchen, the boys had already left the room. I kept quiet but, Its really starting to work my nerves. When I talk to my DH about it, he mostly brushes me of and he will say, oh he doesn't mean anything bad, he just isn't used to kids.

He knew we had kids, so used to them or not he knew we had them! So, what do I do? My Husband doesn't want me to say anything, because he thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe I am being protective over my kids, but where do you draw the line?

I'm not delusional, I know my kids aren't angels. They do get to loud, to hyper, and cry baby sometimes. They don't always listen and they will fight with each other, but they ARE KIDS!

So, what do I do Ladies? What would you do? Am I overreacting?
Posted on MamásLatinas Mobile
Replies:
Pancha1122
2 moms liked this
It's a big deal! Unless he's paying for their things, he really can't say NOTHING to them. He is a guest. If your boys can't be themselves in their own home where else can they go?

Now, if they're throwing things at him or annoying him directly, I can see why he should speak up, but to send them to their room just because they're loud??!!!! HELL NA!!! It's their home, not his!!!!

Only you should discipline them! But not for loud!!
Let be quiet in the library or during bedtime, but in their living room and if they're not fighting, it's ridiculous!!!


My brother in law tried to pull that one on my daughter. I quickly told him that no one else disciplines my kid but me or my husband. If he wants to do it, he's more than welcome to add money to her college fund as well as her things!!!

He thinks I'm a bitch, but he left my baby alone.
Posted on MamásLatinas Mobile
Laurivette
Estoy de acuerdo con pancha... Nop nop y nop... Yo hubiera salido furiosa a decirle algo. Ahhhh!!! Es que me lo imagino nada mas y me prendo... Como dice pancha, es la sala de estar de TUS NIÑOS no de el. Tu y tu eposo son los unicos que deben disciplinarlos de esa manera (decirles q se vayan al cuarto es un tipo de castigo).... Ponle la raya... Y esta empieza donde dice: YO SOY LA MADRE Y LA DUEÑA; tu eres el invitado...
lilnena98

I agree with Pancha. He has no right in discipline your children. When my mil lived with us she tried it and put a stop to it. She would want to be quiet because they were playing too loud and stuff.

sweetyazfl

I don't want/let anyone dicipline my children other than my husband. I had an issue las weekend with a family member over this. One thing is saying no to the kids when they are missbehaving but no one have the authority to spank, ground or yell at my kids. No one! I didn't talk to the person who did it because he's a duche but I talk to his wife and made it clear about my feelings and I will NEVER EVER be around him with my children.

acrogodess

Hmm. It really depends. My best friend of 19 yrs (Olivia's godfather), he's allowed to discipline the childen IF I am NOT around. My best friend of 13 yrs (their godmother) is allowed to discipline them as well. Naturally, mami and my brother are allowed to discipline them so is Peter's sister. Everyone else (aside from teachers) is to tell me when they do something wrong so that either I or Peter can handle it. I make it clear to anyone we are around what I want.

llezawbellYahoo
I think you and your husband need to him in private and talk to him on how you feel about how he disciplines your kids. Also you and you husband should talked to him since the first time he said something to you kids. If he doesn't like kids you both need to tell him to move out ot the house. God bless you and give you wisdom to find the words to use! Esmeralda
Yrivera0510

There is a limit to everything. I think it is OK for somebody to tell my daugther to behave herself and let me know if she is not listening. It is important that kids learn to respect authority from a very early age. However, no one has the right to punish or put their hands on other children. I know some kids are challenging. I work in a field where I see it all the time. But again, it is enough with telling the child that his/her behavior is NOT acceptable. If that does not work, then it is the PARENTS responsibilithy to step in. People are also responsible to let the PARENTS know that their child is not behaving. If the parents do not take care of the situation, then the adults have to make a choice. I personally would not hang around kids that are not diciplined by their own parents. I have a niece that is allowed to do as she pleases. She is 15 now. I minimize my interaction with her and also limit my visits to my sister's house. So, again the ADULTS need to make a choice. When you live with other people, you are stuck with them and their kids no matter how good or bad they are. If you do not like it, move out.

lamariamexicana

May I ask why this man is living with y'all?  and h*ll no! I would not let anyone, much less someone who is my "guest". I would speak to him and si no le gusta, get the h*ll OUT!!!

loves67

 No, yeah my kid is not an angel either but I think another people should mind there own business, I know how to raise my kid and I will make it a big deal if some one would raise there voice and say something, they should come to you and tell you the problem not with the kid, well that my point of view... Sorry...

CrissPenaDelao

So far there has been no need because I am always aware of what they do ... my daughter has never given me problems in that regard. but his brother is totally different to her and I will have to be more careful .. is still very small and when we went to visit we took turns walking behind him ... sometimes I prefer not to leave home to avoid me that ...