Clean jokes? Chistes limpios?

  • 19 Replies
  • 4 moms liked this

He asked me ... why do you spend so much money on groceries?
So I told him.... to turn sideways and look in the mirror!

Me pregunto ... por que gastas tanto dinero en el supermercado?
Le conteste.... ponte de lado y mirate en el espejo 



Replies (19) displaying 1-10
NatVee45

LOL!! I have to find some. Those are funny!

NatVee45

A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license.

After looking it over, he said to her, “Lady, it stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing glasses.”

“Well, I have contacts,” the woman replied.

“Look lady, I don’t care who you know,” snapped the officer. “You’re getting a ticket.”.

LOL

*Natalie*  

Kgmmw
Wth lol


Quoting NatVee45:

A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license.

After looking it over, he said to her, “Lady, it stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing glasses.”

“Well, I have contacts,” the woman replied.

“Look lady, I don’t care who you know,” snapped the officer. “You’re getting a ticket.”.

LOL


Posted on MamásLatinas Mobile
JCTVCBN

 

As an atheist walked through the forest, he smiled at the beauty that was all around him and said, "What natural wonders the powers of evolution have created."  Just then he heard a rustling near the river.  He went to investigate and a seven-foot-tall grizzly bear was tearing down the path toward him.

     The man took off like a shot, and when he got up the courage to look back, he saw the bear was catching up fastHe tried with all his strength to pick up the pace, but he tripped and crashed to the groundAs he tried to get up, the bear jumped on his chest and picked up one paw to whack himThe atheist screamed, "Oh, my God!"

     Time stopped!  The bear froze.  The forest was silent.  Even the river stopped moving.  As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice boomed from the heavens, "You deny My existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.  Do you expect Me to help you out of this predicamentAm I to count you as a believer?"

     The atheist looked directly into the light.  "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but could You perhaps make the bear a Christian?"

     "Very well," the voice saidThe light went out, the river ran again, and the sounds of the forest resumedAnd then the bear dropped its right paw, brought both paws together, bowed its head, and spoke"Lord, for this food that I am about to receiveI am truly thankful."

Laugh Yourself Healthy by Charles & Frances Hunter

JCTVCBN

 

Simple operation

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

"What's the matter?" he was asked.

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

bella_latina
LOL to all of them
ChileanMami

El me pregunto..... cambiemos posiciones esta noche?

Claro le conteste.... tu te pones donde esta el horno y el lavaplatos y yo me siento y me tiro pedos!


He said... should we try swapping positions tonight?

I replied sure you stand by the stove and sink while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Jeannetteg

I wish I knew a CLEAN joke lol.

ctouzet

ML Lourdes

LOL!! To all of them!